Saturday, 7 February 2015

Deep trough

It feels so good to overcome your failure. 

At first you thought you were pretty dumb stupid, but when you decided to give it another go and you went through it, it is possibly one of the best moments in your life (besides having your own kids). 

  When I failed once, I was spiralled into this deep gloomy hole and it took me few months to get out from it. I refused people's help. I changed. I was rude and pathetic to people around me. I snapped, most of the time. Because I never fail before and I never had a taste of it. 

It's bitter, worse than a strong coughing syrup. 

I was questioning myself, what I did wrong. I even question God why He gave me this harsh obstacle because I was totally not up for it. 

Then it hit me, if we need to be ready for everything we will probably not go anywhere. 

I learned to suck it and man up. It was hard. 

I had to meet new people from my new uni cohort. I had to start over from zero. It was hard to admit to them that you were actually a product of failure. But over time you realised they actually do not F care.

I made a new study plan. I studied hard. Even harder than before. It was taking toll on me. I was stressed and my sleep cycle went haywire. I could not tell whether it was day or night.

Yet after all this while, it worth the wait and pain because the reward is sweet. 

Alhamdulillah. 

I could not ask for better time and position to fail than this one.